Turtle Thinks She's an Eagle

Once upon a dream there lived a common brown turtle named Tootles. Tootles loved to live life one blink at a time. If something excited her she would stick her neck out, stretch out her legs, and charge straight for it! However, if something scared her, she would suck all her parts in and batten down the hatches. Not a soul could penetrate this rock hard shell she lived in!

Little common Tootles was as happy as a turtle could be, but she didn't want to be a turtle. For as long as she could remember, she wanted to be a beautiful Eagle soaring through the sky! Tootles had been battered and kicked around quite a bit, so learned to live life on the safest path.

One day while digging for worms she overheard some squirrels chattering about a magical lake where very special animals go and share their thoughts and secrets. A little spark lit inside Tootles and she thought, "You mean I, a common turtle like me, can go to a place and talk with the beautiful Eagles?" She stuck her neck out and charged full speed ahead.

When she reached the glorious sparkling lake, she realized there were only a couple spectacular eagles she really wanted to communicate with, so she tried to find only them. When she found her first eagle "the singer of beautiful songs," he said "Hey, you wanna chat?" Little tootles' heart beat so fast, it nearly burst out of her shell! He spoke to her three times and then left and never came back. She talked, talked, and talked, even after he left.

For the first time she began to wonder if this lake was truly magical at all. She looked into the water and was startled to see not her chunky little common flightless self, but rather a beautiful winged creature that she did not recognize. "This is the magic of the lake,"  said one little songbird. "You can be what you want to be here." Tootles went to the lake everyday! She would eagerly get her chores done and could hardly wait to get back there each and every day. 

Tootles chatted with the few famous birds that she wanted to say certain things to, but she also continued to write messages on trees to that one who left. He never came back.

One day a funny little songbird with a hat began to sit at her spot, but he didn't say anything to her. She asked the funny songbird why he was watching her, but he never answered, so she began watching him from behind a tree. Every once in a while she would laugh so hard at what he was saying that she couldn't resist saying something back at him. He made her laugh so terribly that she nearly got rolled over and stuck on her back. He was a very wise and witty songbird! 


One day she decided to come out from behind the tree but she was very afraid to show him her whole self. She stalled for time by rambling about things that really didn't matter to her. She was so afraid that if the songbird saw she was just a common brown turtle carrying a heavy load, then he would not want to be her friend nor even talk to her.  She took that risk, came into the light and he still talked to her. For nearly a full season they talked, shared secrets, and laughed with each other. She discovered that this silly songbird had some hard things to deal with and he had to go for a while.  She understood why, but he promised he would not stop talking. He said he loved to talk. He did it while he was doing every single thing a bird could do. 

Little Tootles continue to go daily to the magical crystal lake and she was happy to talk to some other special creatures that she met, but the whole time she was thinking of her funny songbird friend. She grew very fond of him. He was like the brother she never knew she had. She worried about his journeys and wanted him to feel supported, so she wrote to him even though he didn't respond very often. She thought she was lifting his spirits and she didn't need to hear him talk because she was doing it for him only, not for herself.

Many ironies and strange things happened during this time. This little turtle could never explain the happenings to anyone, they would think she was losing her shell. In the meantime, she met some new friends who she really adored. One bird who claimed to be an old friend of the silly songbird told her all kinds of things about the silly one and confused poor Tootles, but still they talked and talked and talked! Tootles was beginning to feel overwhelmed of all the attention she was getting at the lake, She is a very private little turtle, but now she was seeing her image all around her and people talking to her from everywhere.. it made Tootles uncomfortable. Also, her heart was beginning to break into a few pieces and while one part was breaking away she took that piece and molded it into a piece of clay. "This doll will keep my innermost feelings for me, because they are too much for me," whispered Tootles to herself. She invited a few people to talk with her in this special place. They were very supportive birds!

As time went on and she met more beautiful souls, she truly loved what she was doing, but her heart was breaking again. Her sweet, silly, songbird friend had turned into an angry, freaky, monkey bird.  He had no idea what he had unleashed upon doing this. Little Tootles was not one to argue, fight, or deny other animal's feelings. All she could do is apologize. She didn't want to make any excuses, though sometimes she had to to keep her strength for her regular life's demands.

The pain in this little turtle's heart was so intense! She felt helpless.. so she began sharing mostly at the hiding place, the one part of her heart inside the clay turtle, and also in private conversations. Other hurts began to happen and she soon found her heart had broken off another big chunk. This time it felt like a different feeling. So she made another clay image of herself placing that chunk of her heart inside. She spoke through this doll all of her angry feelings. This once joyous and magical lake had now split her all in pieces and she lost track of who she was. When she spoke with the birds in her turtle body, she became cooler and more indifferent. She was no longer whole and solitude became her solace, but she wanted to try to maintain balance as a common brown turtle.

She still made some very special friends and no one knew what all she had been through because until this time, she had not shared much of the actual details with anybody, not anybody! She felt she had to handle it all on her own. Things got a little wiggy for a while, but she decided to not ask questions and let all things happen as the wind blows. Tootles still loves to meet the special creatures of the magical lake and wants to share all of herself, but only special people get to experience her all three ways. She has resigned herself to these three separated pieces of her heart and not fly with the eagles until she can see the winged image in her reflection on the lake once again.