I didn't get all that you said because I don't have these bloggers hooked up to my email or my phone. But I guess it wasn't important. I think chocolate is heavenly but my decisions are what they are. Not many choices left to make.
So I did have a decision between dark chocolate pomegranates or milk chocolate covered almonds.... I mean no real life decisions left to make it seems and the path is pretty direct.
I had some treatment done on my face for skin cancer and I'm just laying around with an ice pack hoping all the puffiness will go down before Saturday.
You know we did not use sunscreen most of my life and I loved the outdoors I had freckles when I was young. They only started going away when I began using sunscreen daily.
My grandma and my dad both had skin cancer and the same treatment done to their faces. We just love the outdoors. I only purposely try to tan my belly. I usually put a towel over my head.
Oh, you have to go to the doctor that they tell you to go. I do love being able to choose my own doctor. I am very picky and my male general practitioner does not do my gyn stuff. I go to a special place for that and have a woman doctor. He can't complain about it.
If you can, go to another doctor..that would be a wise thing. I'm pretty reluctant to take stuff too. You have to listen to your innermost intellegence, especially if you are not a danger to yourself or others.
They just want a quick cure-all with a simple pill instead of studying the root of the issue and working with that. Of course human beings are a very complex animal.. who is ever going to be smart enough to help everybody?
Truthfully, a good friend I think is all everyone really needs. Not even a lover can do as much for somebody as a good friend. (That doesn't mean I'm criticizing lovers, but they really aren't enough)
It's all good. I do believe our bodies can produce the chemicals we need to heal when it has all the right nutrients and conditions to work with. I don't know the science behind it but i believe it.
If I find that I have cancer inside me, I have already decided that I will do that super soup and eat aggressivley only the things to help fight those types of cells. I also will clear my mind and do what I can to make my heart glad to produce all the good chemicals I can. But I will not do radiation or chemotherapy. I figure that if I have cancer then that is what is on my plate to deal with. That is either my ticket to a better life and redemption or my ticket to death. I'm not afraid of that. I only worry for my people I leave behind.
I believe we all have cancer cells too. I also believe we all have the ability to evolve into any kind of person represented in society. It all comes down to choices. I believe this wholeheartedly!
You see it used to be very special to me and I was very careful about sharing that kind of intimacy. I always thought it was something a man liked was intimacy with someone who none of their friends will ever have a chance with. But then at a very young age I learned that guys even like to share the same bed with their friends and the same girl. So what have I been doing all that time?
I love affection, holding, kissing carressing and I don't want it to always end with a poke in the cooch. I'm resigned to never having that ever again, because no matter how much I say what I need and what I don't want...it always is given a condition. I can't have what I want, the way I want it, so I don't want it.
I think I get it what you are saying. I know that I feel special to me.... and I also know that others don't think I am special. There are millions of beautiful and talented people out there.. I really don't have any talents...I'm very ordinary. But I feel special to me and I am happy to be alone. It would be great if I had somebody to think I am so special too.
Unfortunately the closest people in my life think there is something wrong with me...that I need fixing. I really resent that. I think if they are not happy then just leave...but unfortunately these people are also incredibly needy, so I am stuck because I will not abandon anyone.
A poke in the cooch is very annoying when you're all cozy in your jammies and you just want to be held tight till you fall asleep. You don't want to be told "ok 15 minutes are up and now you have to fix this boner problem I have, you caused it...blah, blah, blah"
Ok..so I already escaped my screwed up family to create my own family ( do you realize how old I am?) and the man who was supposed to be my best friend is the worst best friend I ever had...and the children I love, but children hate you when they are teenagers, but they still need me. It's all I can dream about to become a family of one again. I was happy when I was on my own...I only wanted to share my happiness. I didn't think the life would get sucked out of me.
You do need to go sleep...I understand. Thank you for the conversation;~) I will just add this information and you can read when you wake up, that the man who was supposed to be my best friend forever, tells all of his bestest male friends every intimate detail of us and he criticizes ruthlessly not just me but everybody. He does not compliment, not even his children. He wants to be taken care of like a little child and takes no responsibilty of the house or home or anything at all. It is all on me. I am the man and woman of the house. He had a wonderful mother. He was her favorite, but now that she has alzheimers he will not visit her on his own. I told him last night what the doctor's report said of my pap smear possibly being malignant and he said absolutely nothing, but went downstairs to watch TV. You may say "Oh, he just has a hard time with seeing people's health fail... FK that!!! Everybodies' health is gonna fail...we don't just run and hide from it and pretend it's not happening. He only thinks of himself. He will not be there for anybody if they have nothing to offer him...I have seen this in him, over and over again. What he does to inform me he wants sex..is really not stimulating...but I don't deny him because that just makes the day worse. Does any of this make sense. I never dreamed my life would come to this. I've always lived by feel.
I went away a lot last year. It wasn't scary at all. In fact, I loved having the excuse of my mother being sick, so I had to be there for her. But I was angry because I wondered why he denied me being able to visit her when she was healthy? It was always about the money.
Money isn't as important as people and relationships. I had to fight him to do what I did last year and I am glad I did. I think he was considering leaving me....but then my mother passed and all of a sudden he was saying what a wonderful thing I did to be there for her. I spent two months taking care of the estate and I may have spent longer if I didn't have a job and children to get back to. I really was never scared or lonely. I enjoyed driving the 3000 miles back to home by myself. I would do it again in a heartbeat.
So what I am saying is that I don't think I have the fear of being alone or taking care of myself. That's not it. I think I fear that if I wanted a permanent separation, I am only being selfish and self centered and all the hurt I cause is going to turn around and bite me in the rear. I understand that there is two sides to every story. Maybe I am not such a great person to be married to either?
But here, now I have a person who tells me he would die without me. I told him I don't like that he is so dependant on me. I told him that if I died, I wouldn't want him to shut down and become depressed and not be there for our children. I want him to be his own person and do the things he enjoys, I've always supported that. Unfortunately the things he enjoys is getting drunk and stoned being and idiot with his highschool buddies ( a couple of times a week and even on Easter Sunday). My daughters and adult son complain about his behavior.
I'm going to think more about what you said. I do feel the life sucked out of me, but I thought it was because I am actually an introvert and that in general relating to people sucks the life out of introverts. But I will think more on it.
You are right, age does not really make a difference in relationships, but it's how the person makes you feel, and the joys shared.
I love how fast he sings. this one cracks me up too! Reminds me of an ape that came through my line at the grocery store, he was a little nuts>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5389V4oKlsA
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I am punished :/
I'm ok, THEY are not ok -_-
they are very suspicious .... the way they act mmnnnhhhh suspicious and scary!!
you do?
maybe you are a zombie :/
I felt inspired today
that was for breakfast :D
this situation is freaky -_-
Have you been taliking to yourself here?
Did you have a question?
I didn't get all that you said because I don't have these bloggers hooked up to my email or my phone. But I guess it wasn't important. I think chocolate is heavenly but my decisions are what they are. Not many choices left to make.
I like long hair better but it depends what the rest of the person looks like I suppose.
I'm having chocolate covered pomegranates now, delicious! But how do they get the seeds out?
So I did have a decision between dark chocolate pomegranates or milk chocolate covered almonds.... I mean no real life decisions left to make it seems and the path is pretty direct.
What have you been up to?
You can do whatever you want. I had veggie soup and now chocolate. I don't have any LSD, but I do have some lemoncello.
I made the lemoncello...it's been aging a long time. I was gone so much last year. I don't think I know how to get naughty.
How would I scare you? maybe if you saw how I look right now? been in bed all day;~/
I had some treatment done on my face for skin cancer and I'm just laying around with an ice pack hoping all the puffiness will go down before Saturday.
I don't look like the elephant man...more like that lion face disease.
You know we did not use sunscreen most of my life and I loved the outdoors I had freckles when I was young. They only started going away when I began using sunscreen daily.
My face right now is more puffy than red..I think they removed every last freckle and mole.
I always liked my freckles.
You know a gondolier in Venice once said to me when I was 13. "A girl without freckles is like the sky without stars."
My grandma and my dad both had skin cancer and the same treatment done to their faces. We just love the outdoors. I only purposely try to tan my belly. I usually put a towel over my head.
What color is your skin? Do you have an olive complexion? I always admired that in my best friend.
You are lucky to have that color if you love to be outdoors too.
It must be late for you in Spain?
Who is it that you were talking about being suspicious and scary?
I'm getting the lemoncello and you can tell me about it...
Oh, you have to go to the doctor that they tell you to go. I do love being able to choose my own doctor. I am very picky and my male general practitioner does not do my gyn stuff. I go to a special place for that and have a woman doctor. He can't complain about it.
So they are making you take a medicine but you think it is really a kind of experiment and a way to control you like a lab rat?
If you can, go to another doctor..that would be a wise thing. I'm pretty reluctant to take stuff too. You have to listen to your innermost intellegence, especially if you are not a danger to yourself or others.
They just want a quick cure-all with a simple pill instead of studying the root of the issue and working with that. Of course human beings are a very complex animal.. who is ever going to be smart enough to help everybody?
Truthfully, a good friend I think is all everyone really needs. Not even a lover can do as much for somebody as a good friend. (That doesn't mean I'm criticizing lovers, but they really aren't enough)
What is the German medicine?
It's all good. I do believe our bodies can produce the chemicals we need to heal when it has all the right nutrients and conditions to work with. I don't know the science behind it but i believe it.
If I find that I have cancer inside me, I have already decided that I will do that super soup and eat aggressivley only the things to help fight those types of cells. I also will clear my mind and do what I can to make my heart glad to produce all the good chemicals I can. But I will not do radiation or chemotherapy. I figure that if I have cancer then that is what is on my plate to deal with. That is either my ticket to a better life and redemption or my ticket to death. I'm not afraid of that. I only worry for my people I leave behind.
I believe we all have cancer cells too. I also believe we all have the ability to evolve into any kind of person represented in society. It all comes down to choices. I believe this wholeheartedly!
It would be nice if a lover is also a friend. They start off that way. That's what I always used to think...I must be a lot older than you.
You see it used to be very special to me and I was very careful about sharing that kind of intimacy. I always thought it was something a man liked was intimacy with someone who none of their friends will ever have a chance with. But then at a very young age I learned that guys even like to share the same bed with their friends and the same girl. So what have I been doing all that time?
I love affection, holding, kissing carressing and I don't want it to always end with a poke in the cooch. I'm resigned to never having that ever again, because no matter how much I say what I need and what I don't want...it always is given a condition. I can't have what I want, the way I want it, so I don't want it.
I think I get it what you are saying. I know that I feel special to me.... and I also know that others don't think I am special. There are millions of beautiful and talented people out there.. I really don't have any talents...I'm very ordinary. But I feel special to me and I am happy to be alone. It would be great if I had somebody to think I am so special too.
Unfortunately the closest people in my life think there is something wrong with me...that I need fixing. I really resent that. I think if they are not happy then just leave...but unfortunately these people are also incredibly needy, so I am stuck because I will not abandon anyone.
A poke in the cooch is very annoying when you're all cozy in your jammies and you just want to be held tight till you fall asleep. You don't want to be told "ok 15 minutes are up and now you have to fix this boner problem I have, you caused it...blah, blah, blah"
Ok..so I already escaped my screwed up family to create my own family ( do you realize how old I am?) and the man who was supposed to be my best friend is the worst best friend I ever had...and the children I love, but children hate you when they are teenagers, but they still need me. It's all I can dream about to become a family of one again. I was happy when I was on my own...I only wanted to share my happiness. I didn't think the life would get sucked out of me.
I can't tell you about that, I don't have children :) but it happens I heart ...
you are as old as Santa Claus .....
goodnight-day :D
You do need to go sleep...I understand. Thank you for the conversation;~) I will just add this information and you can read when you wake up, that the man who was supposed to be my best friend forever, tells all of his bestest male friends every intimate detail of us and he criticizes ruthlessly not just me but everybody. He does not compliment, not even his children. He wants to be taken care of like a little child and takes no responsibilty of the house or home or anything at all. It is all on me. I am the man and woman of the house. He had a wonderful mother. He was her favorite, but now that she has alzheimers he will not visit her on his own. I told him last night what the doctor's report said of my pap smear possibly being malignant and he said absolutely nothing, but went downstairs to watch TV. You may say "Oh, he just has a hard time with seeing people's health fail... FK that!!! Everybodies' health is gonna fail...we don't just run and hide from it and pretend it's not happening. He only thinks of himself. He will not be there for anybody if they have nothing to offer him...I have seen this in him, over and over again. What he does to inform me he wants sex..is really not stimulating...but I don't deny him because that just makes the day worse. Does any of this make sense. I never dreamed my life would come to this. I've always lived by feel.
I went away a lot last year. It wasn't scary at all. In fact, I loved having the excuse of my mother being sick, so I had to be there for her. But I was angry because I wondered why he denied me being able to visit her when she was healthy? It was always about the money.
Money isn't as important as people and relationships. I had to fight him to do what I did last year and I am glad I did. I think he was considering leaving me....but then my mother passed and all of a sudden he was saying what a wonderful thing I did to be there for her. I spent two months taking care of the estate and I may have spent longer if I didn't have a job and children to get back to. I really was never scared or lonely. I enjoyed driving the 3000 miles back to home by myself. I would do it again in a heartbeat.
So what I am saying is that I don't think I have the fear of being alone or taking care of myself. That's not it. I think I fear that if I wanted a permanent separation, I am only being selfish and self centered and all the hurt I cause is going to turn around and bite me in the rear. I understand that there is two sides to every story. Maybe I am not such a great person to be married to either?
But here, now I have a person who tells me he would die without me. I told him I don't like that he is so dependant on me. I told him that if I died, I wouldn't want him to shut down and become depressed and not be there for our children. I want him to be his own person and do the things he enjoys, I've always supported that. Unfortunately the things he enjoys is getting drunk and stoned being and idiot with his highschool buddies ( a couple of times a week and even on Easter Sunday). My daughters and adult son complain about his behavior.
I'm going to think more about what you said. I do feel the life sucked out of me, but I thought it was because I am actually an introvert and that in general relating to people sucks the life out of introverts. But I will think more on it.
You are right, age does not really make a difference in relationships, but it's how the person makes you feel, and the joys shared.
I don't feel so pretty lately.
you should giggle more :)
Some songs make me giggle.
Like this...if it works???
The Dickies - Banana Splits: http://youtu.be/flMS2gHFOH0 via @youtube
:O what is that? lol
"the dickies" ...... you are going bananas ^_^
I love "The Incredible Shrinking Dickies!"
I love how fast he sings. this one cracks me up too! Reminds me of an ape that came through my line at the grocery store, he was a little nuts>>
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5389V4oKlsA
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