I am really wiped out from my work day.. Just layng here on the couch ready to pass out. I need to push myself up for a walk:-/ I could just sleep though.
If I lived alone I would just sleep, but instead, the TV that I am not ever going to watch is blaring, hubs stomping in and out for the past 45 minutes, slamming this slamming that, making fun of our sweet daughter with nasty sounds, makes me want to scream.. "LEAVE HER ALONE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! JUST TAKE ALL THE BEER and ICE AND GET ON YOUR BIKERIDE ALREADY!". I tried to rest upstairs but he so graciously came home before I did and blew up the bathroom and bedroom with some kind of stench he held in for maybe two days?? I don't know but I could not relax in my bedroom. I just need a little cave of my own, but I tried that and it doesn't go over well.
You must be sleeping now. So sorry to miss sharing with you. When I work, I am typically very consumed.. It just consumes me to the core. Only 7pm and can barely keep my eyes open:-/
I just cleaned the pile of dishes that were there for me to do and I helped my daughter to prepare the straps on her pointe shoes, I spoke to my son who is at college. I ate a bowl of cherries and changed into my jogging clothes. I'm starting to feel some energy come back, so I may get jogging.
You know. I don't like teaching the way we have to do it. I think small groups that you can take out of the classroom and do active learning is better. But the sixth grade I teach only one day a week, they are used to being yelled at and I don't yell, I wait for their respect to come from self control, but there is 35 12 & 13 year olds. They are not respectful to each other. We always have to stop and gain respect again. Most of them enjoyed my fun lessons today, but others were too busy throwing them at each other or stealing the others stuff. There is a very big boy who might be actually 14 and I treat him like he should be mature, but he's always messing with the girls, grabbing stuff from their desk, sticking his feet up into their chairs ect.
It was my last day teaching them, so I gave them all I could today. I think a few will remember. Then I cleaned my things out of the room after school was out.
It can be hard. But you know there is an affective filter. Those kids have hard stuff to deal with. I understand it that's why I try to bring in fun things to do. But the one who doesn't get my sympathy is that kid who I know his parents spoil him and he is disrespectful, very much so! He got in trouble with the principal and his father chewed her out saying she should spend her energy in the really bad kids!! That is a real problem!!! Because his son is terribly rude and obnoxious!
So I just saw a few messages I didn't see before. I know you said you won't go looking for me, but would you mind if I went looking for you, because I always think that if someone leaves me then they don't want me around at all.
Well on my plan I have thought that I would just go too. I currently am barely able to plan for each day as it comes. I have the remains of the estates of two of my family members to still organize, I have one more daughter to raise, I have a mess in my own life to really figure out. When I feel I have things in order I will be ready to plan further ahead, but I know I am doing things for the furthur future now. I'm trying to be considerate of my obligations and people who need me.
because I can feel for some reason you feel you have some power over me and this is an illusion of yours, so please tell me which are your alternative plans so you don't waste your energies :/
No, I am not a stalker. I can let people go, but I do miss them terribly sometimes. My plan is to get my biggest things in order, and go back to ballet, continue with singing in the choir, and maybe join a bigger choir. In a year I will be vested in the teaching enough so I might get some retirement benefits so I have to finish that before I can look at a different job. I already missed one retirement plan by a couple of years because i quit the retail clerks when I had a wim to go to college. That could have been a few thousand dollars a month if I stuck with it a couple more years. I don't have any career to make much money. i just give my time away.
You know I feel stronger things. I just need the doorway to be clear of cobwebs and tangles. I try to follow what is in the light....bright and clear. I know my physical body has these feelings..but another quirky thing that keeps happening is so weird.
I go out in public and people think I look so young and "Oh Wow! you don't look that age!" but when I see my pictures all I see is lines and stress. For some reason nobody sees it but me. I see it in the window reflections on the car but I don't see it in the mirror. It's just weird.
Well, it probably has much to do with the Deaths in the family and being the main female in control of things now. There are older females, but they are not the matriarchs. There has been a whole lot of stress with that.
And I don't really like to be the leader..that has been known since I was a little girl. I like to do things my way, but I don't care about leading people around. I have always followed kids and people who intrigued me.
Sharing your knowledge and friendship is really what I need. It can be criticisms too. I know I need that:~/ But if you can't do that, I will still be ok.
Ey, you can do with yourself what you wish, not judging really :/ but I wouldn't recommend it, it is amazing the lost of energy any kind of masturbation is ..... but if you really need it ... Osho, the mystic, says babies, specially boys, they like touching and playing with his little thing because is a very sensitive zone lol we shouldn't tell them that is bad, we girls, like everything is inside we just leave it, for boys is really handy ..... don't fell guilty about it, you are two both alone ..... and all that
They are interesting. I think he's more atractive.. she does nothing for me, but it doesn't matter. If they are good together, that is all that matters. But in this picture to me it doesn't look like they have any kind of bond. Something doesn't look unified with them.
But I don't like the part she has on that tv series, it's bitchy way too much, but it's just acting .... I like more the boy, but out of there I like them both. And that is all ;)
I was saying that I don't know either of them. I don't watch tv. And if you have natural beauty, you don't need make-up... Probably why I like his looks better. But if I met her I might see that she has a very beautiful personality.
I was having this conversation about coca-cola with Robert, my imaginary friend, and .... he stopped the conversation :/ what does that mean?? maybe he doesn't like coca-cola??
she doesn't need much make up really, but we girls like it, after all, make up is made mainly with minerals, isn't diamonds minerals? .... she doesn't need much make up, but I suppose is part of the bussiness
so, what is it? you know? not everyone has a huge dick or huge breast as I or you do .... it is much worse not to love yourself as you are and put some silicone. She has a very pretty body.
I know it's just the badness in me.. But I really hate a high forhead and skinny eyebrows.. Like every time I see Reese Witherspoon it's all that pops out at me... Its such a bad thing for me to think about. The personality is more important, but when will I ever get to socialize with them? They are put out there as icons for beauty and that is why it most bugs me about the forehead and eyebrows.
I could never be put out there as an icon for beauty. It would pisss a lot of people off. So much about me is not beautiful. But I have friends I admire for their beauty:-)
But as I say that.. I am only saying it for what other women would think. I wouldn't trade my body for anybody else's. I'm perfectly content with what I have to work with.. Just that my back always hurts:-( I used to hate being big breasted and I did diet so I would lose much of that booby weight.. But now I don't care as much. I'm not trying to be a ballerina anymore.
I'm going now to the gym to excercize my back. I have to keep it strong. Enjoy your day! Maybe today Robert will talk more to you, since he's still alive:-)
I do like her, most times she wears very nice things ..... http://photos-2.posh24.com/p/1060961/l/celebrity_rumors/leighton_meester_and_costar_garrett_hedlund_is_it_love.jpg but that is my opinion
I find it is much important the form of the breast than the size, but I am not a man :/ Osho says (lol) that in occident we milk our babies too little time so they can be years and years milking and that is why occidental men are so obsessed with breast, on the tribes they see breasts so long that men are not really interested about it, he may be right after all.
also says that the habit of having to have something in your mouth like a cigarete has to do with it, didn't your mother milk you enough? :/ confess ...
woohhoo, look who I found between the girl photos on google http://cdn04.cdn.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/headlines/2012/05/leonardo-dicaprio-chiropractor.jpg who is that? :/
he looks faty, might be for that film with Tarantino he is working in? that looks like a cool movie ... but Tarantino likes blood too much, I can't it, I remember that film where the girl had to eat her own hand I think? O-M-G O.O what's a chiropractor anyway .....
Leonardo di Caprio.. He's a cutie, but I don't know his personality. A chiropractor keeps the spine from cementing in a crooked way. Keeps you flexible:-)
see that face? I used to read those magazines for years and years, I ignored him, always found him wishy-washy but ..... what did I know? probably someone like that will think I was uncivilized anyway ...... :/ I mean, I never understood people who likes famous people, I mean like in a romantic way? when I was like 22 or so I like that Orlando Bloom, who actually I can't digest now :/ really, I went the whole process and .... because I remember I was in love with someone else, in my dreams, as usual and I felt brokenhearted you say? and I saw the cover of this film "Troya" and remembered me a little bit to this guy I was in love with. I suppose it was like jumping from some hopes to another even harder hopes, I was sad :( ..... why did I do that fooooor?? ♪ ♫ lol addiction to hopes is a sickness itself you know that, at least I always accepted my faults and try to work on them .... and try to live as a "normal" person.
I love Marilyn Monroe too, she was a very kitty person -.- and DON'T say nothing about her, I love her, she was much talented than most girls on the industry now AND yes, she ate many ..... lol :/ On the gym, this trainer was talking about popular girls he knew, he had it all clear "They must sleep with people .... see? Marilyn Monroe after the film [..] said "And after this job I can choose who I sleep with ...."" I wonder if she said that, probably .....
I love Marilyn Monroe! She's a classy lady and very intelligent actually. She lived at a hard time for women to be taken seriously, but she "Wowed" them all! I love the way she thought as seen in her quotes.
My mother did not breast feed me not even one day. She took the pill to dry herself up and it happens so fast that her stretched skin never went back to her 17 year old shape. I on the other hand breast fed all three of my babies for as long as they were interested, but all finished very naturally around a year old. They began to like the ease of sippy cups. Two of them sucked their fingers for comfort and the other repetitively pinched the skin under my chin for comfort. But anyway, it was all very gradual breast growth and reduction so I had no problem with my skin stretching. I took very good care of them and they retained a nice shape without sagging. I believe this helps my self esteem because when my mom ran around the house naked as she often did, I thought that sagging was pretty horrible and didn't want it to happen to me.
The only famous people I ever romanticized about was Sting, who I spent some time saving myself for, but I knew it would never happen. Then there was Mel Gibson, again never gonna happen and I thought it was nice he was married and had such s big family:-).. He really blew it looking at that younger woman... I could have told him not to do it:-/. Then Anthony Kiedis, just a little heart throbby there but like I said, I knew it would never happen. I never even fantasized for them romantically just in a awesome friendly kinda way:-))
and then I think and "what what what if I just move my magic finger and spoil your fucking career you asshoooooole! just like this, without moving, magic magic"
I never wanted to be famous, nor to be in that zone. Only as a behind the scenes person like a theatrical make-up artist. But not to meet famous people as much as to try and treat them as any other normal person. I feel very sorry for famous people...?even if they have all the money and can do so many wonderful things, there is definitely a trade-off. It would drive a lot of people mad.
do you think that Robert is now inspired to make one of those sad songs he makes to try make the rest of us feel ..... as emo-sad as he is?? XD hahahahahhaha
I am running all over town taking care of a bunch of things and reading your words, so I may have to go back and look again at them to fully understand:-/
Anyway, if it drains you and you don't feel it is for any good, then don't do it. Sometimes I just enjoy doing things that have no reward at all. It's rewarding to just do something instead of nothing.
I am much into very done eyebrowns, I have been having them much natural for years I liked it like that!! but now that going natural is fashion I feel like having them much done and longer in the center ¿? I do all of this without intention, I just feel it. I find myself prettier :) never was one to be told what to wear or how to look
Power is something that I channel, works through me, like art ... very femenine, and I must take care to take care of it, can't allow even you to spoilt it or unrespect it so you could considere it God like :/
This world of control is in need of the Divine you get more balanced. And I wouldn't be one to get in the middle of it.
You respect the God and honour the Goddess, what is the difference? aren't they the same?
I don't care if it's the fashion or not the fashion. I just do what I like. You can do what you like too:-) I don't change things much. My daughters are becoming opposite of me because that is what daughters do. You should be careful about the eyebrows because they will suddenly without warning, not grow back. It happened to my mother and she had to draw them on since her mid twenties. It really is a blah look without eyebrows. Any shape is fine, whatever look that you like. I have never decided to shape mine.
yeah I heart that, but I am not one of little hair, I have a loooot of hair and grows back just very quickly, and I don't know what I would like in 2 years time ¿? maybe I change again :) for now they are staying like this
you don't want to honour the godess in me and I won't respect the god in you, the god you even think you have, starting there .... that is a personal experience. You could put me under a bridge I repeat, I will feel as a godess the same :)
What if from the very first time we communicated I continuously spoke highly of myself and behaved as if nothing I ever did was a mistake or a blunder? What would you think of me then?
you honor your ego, that is other thing No, I don't want you to honor my godessness so that should come naturally from you maybe? but you even know what Divinity means .... let me think if I know a God like man .... how do they feel? it is hard so men need to have something to feel like something, real women don't need many things to feel they have some value .... but if you have it, ey!! much better :D I am not sure I get a human kind god like man ..... an example ?
To me it is only good to know that we are not perfect or above anybody else. I try to treat people with respect that we have the same feelings and fears. Maybe I am not good at it? We are only sons and daughters of God. We are not Gods and Godesses. Even though I love the Greek Mythology I will never be an Aphrodite.
if anything you did was right all should have work out, don't you think? it's ignorance, pure ignorance. You learn the good way or the bad way, you did the bad way so what I say is no sense ¿?
I think those greek gods, not Gods, I mean gods, they had much knowdledge than us, much power BUT they were very imperfect, I really think they existed but they were coming from another universe like through a dark hole or whatever is the way because see the stories? they had total control over physicality, they were born, suddenly they will grow up or become any form they wish, also they will sex up their parents or family like .... other kind of genetics, we couldn't do that so we will spoil genetics .... so our souls come from different parts of the universe and we are all relatives. I had to tell ya ^.^ It is said they came from Lira constelation, which is the place where life began in our galaxy ¿? many stories. But I am sure those weren't from this universe. They are myths, I love Poseidon, he represents the sea :) but I don't think we necessarily become like them ever .....
Talking about this stories now I am reading a book is called vril the power of the coming race. I didn't like it much the beginning, I find it fantastic really, I am starting now with some interesting information so it was written like 1871? and it looks talks about actual science ¿?
I am into a part where they explain that they had 2 groups on a global war and both had same knowdledge and power so they found this Vril power and they decided to stop fighting so the only thing they could get was both to disappear..... ¿?
hahhaaha I am reading about this Hitlers Vril society so they believed this story to be truth and the girls in that society will wear their hair very long so the Vril force to lead better http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6HGy_5nmUNg/Tc2pe_kUu2I/AAAAAAAAAn4/OR0x58-Y_0Y/s1600/AD-ASTRA--Schwingungen--Vrillinen--e0908a02--q8.jpg
Men can have bigger foreheads, it's the women that look weird to me.. But that is just me. Probably why I always prefer bangs but my friend who does my hair won't let me have bangs anymore. I trust her opinion now, I used to just insist on it and then I would style them myself.
yeah, they talked about it recently, maybe that is why I love long hair unconsciously :) if you notice Merlin, indians, all are represented with long hairs, if you are a mystic, you better leave your hair longer.
also if I go deeper, the cut you have has to do with the way you receive the energy, also the yogis? say the best way is like a spiral over your head ¿? so if you feel like cutting your hair like this or like that, I mean, out of fashion .... maybe it has something to do. Right now I love braids, I love them :D I always did actually, the first time I went to high school I made myself 2 as Pocahontas? lol maybe I get energy that way it is better for me ^.^ who knows ....
And you know I'm a girl right? I wear my hair very long. I like it layered so the curl will stand out and I do like French Braids. But mostly I do nothing to it but wash and shake it out.
I don't think you have. Remember, you don't go looking for me. I am invisible to you. And it's a good thing I'm not your type because then you'd be like a lesbian. Unless you've always wanted to try that;-)
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let's talk -.-
That little girl is amazing! Wow! Thanks for sharing that:-)
I don't know that Robert you talk about. Who is that?
That is a cute Christopher Robin picture with the funny Eeyore.. And R2-D2:-))
I am really wiped out from my work day.. Just layng here on the couch ready to pass out. I need to push myself up for a walk:-/ I could just sleep though.
If I lived alone I would just sleep, but instead, the TV that I am not ever going to watch is blaring, hubs stomping in and out for the past 45 minutes, slamming this slamming that, making fun of our sweet daughter with nasty sounds, makes me want to scream.. "LEAVE HER ALONE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! JUST TAKE ALL THE BEER and ICE AND GET ON YOUR BIKERIDE ALREADY!". I tried to rest upstairs but he so graciously came home before I did and blew up the bathroom and bedroom with some kind of stench he held in for maybe two days?? I don't know but I could not relax in my bedroom. I just need a little cave of my own, but I tried that and it doesn't go over well.
You must be sleeping now. So sorry to miss sharing with you. When I work, I am typically very consumed.. It just consumes me to the core. Only 7pm and can barely keep my eyes open:-/
Robert is an imaginary friend obviously :/
you look very happy .....
You're joking right ?
you are so full of love ....
you chose that so it can't be that bad after all
I just cleaned the pile of dishes that were there for me to do and I helped my daughter to prepare the straps on her pointe shoes, I spoke to my son who is at college. I ate a bowl of cherries and changed into my jogging clothes. I'm starting to feel some energy come back, so I may get jogging.
now you just need some mp3 :)
You know. I don't like teaching the way we have to do it. I think small groups that you can take out of the classroom and do active learning is better. But the sixth grade I teach only one day a week, they are used to being yelled at and I don't yell, I wait for their respect to come from self control, but there is 35 12 & 13 year olds. They are not respectful to each other. We always have to stop and gain respect again. Most of them enjoyed my fun lessons today, but others were too busy throwing them at each other or stealing the others stuff. There is a very big boy who might be actually 14 and I treat him like he should be mature, but he's always messing with the girls, grabbing stuff from their desk, sticking his feet up into their chairs ect.
they just don't like school
It was my last day teaching them, so I gave them all I could today. I think a few will remember. Then I cleaned my things out of the room after school was out.
I don't blame them. I didn't like that room I was working in. It's not how I would want my classroom, but I was only 20% so I had no control there.
Now I love the third grade and how the 80% teacher sets that class up. It's only 22 kids and a very positive, cohesive set up.
it must be very hard to teach kids something they consider "boring" and you know they are not very respectful these days .....
It can be hard. But you know there is an affective filter. Those kids have hard stuff to deal with. I understand it that's why I try to bring in fun things to do. But the one who doesn't get my sympathy is that kid who I know his parents spoil him and he is disrespectful, very much so! He got in trouble with the principal and his father chewed her out saying she should spend her energy in the really bad kids!! That is a real problem!!! Because his son is terribly rude and obnoxious!
ok
so, when I'll be gone what are you gonna do? what's your plan? :)
Are you going?
Eventually
because you know I won't go looking for you right? you know that?
I believe I will miss you.
what would you do with a green banana? tell me .....
So is that a plan?
I would put it in a bag to ripen.
you better star learning to think faster ..... because I won't be there, I won't look back
fine, I would go to get another banana, because I feel like eating a banana :/ I am not depending on a banana ....
I'm having a wireless internet problem..I have turne it on and off a few times. I think It's now fixed. I hope.
maybe is a still green computer
What would make me a ripe banana?
I suppose another lifetime?
but that is my point of view, thinking about myself. I am sure you are a ripe banana one from someone else ;)
So I just saw a few messages I didn't see before. I know you said you won't go looking for me, but would you mind if I went looking for you, because I always think that if someone leaves me then they don't want me around at all.
I mind :)
That is not a valid plan
Well on my plan I have thought that I would just go too. I currently am barely able to plan for each day as it comes. I have the remains of the estates of two of my family members to still organize, I have one more daughter to raise, I have a mess in my own life to really figure out. When I feel I have things in order I will be ready to plan further ahead, but I know I am doing things for the furthur future now. I'm trying to be considerate of my obligations and people who need me.
Ok then. That is what I would have thought. No go looking.
So you have no plan at all apart of stalking as a psycho?
nothing, I am just trying to save you some energies, so I can clearly see you have no idea ...
because I can feel for some reason you feel you have some power over me and this is an illusion of yours, so please tell me which are your alternative plans so you don't waste your energies :/
No, I am not a stalker. I can let people go, but I do miss them terribly sometimes. My plan is to get my biggest things in order, and go back to ballet, continue with singing in the choir, and maybe join a bigger choir. In a year I will be vested in the teaching enough so I might get some retirement benefits so I have to finish that before I can look at a different job. I already missed one retirement plan by a couple of years because i quit the retail clerks when I had a wim to go to college. That could have been a few thousand dollars a month if I stuck with it a couple more years. I don't have any career to make much money. i just give my time away.
I don't beleive that. I know you are a free spirit. I just enjoy to read what you say.
fine, I can see you have been thinking much about "your life"
yeah yeah, I know better than you yourself I think ..... It's ok, I must accept you are green ;)
You know I feel stronger things. I just need the doorway to be clear of cobwebs and tangles. I try to follow what is in the light....bright and clear. I know my physical body has these feelings..but another quirky thing that keeps happening is so weird.
I go out in public and people think I look so young and "Oh Wow! you don't look that age!" but when I see my pictures all I see is lines and stress. For some reason nobody sees it but me. I see it in the window reflections on the car but I don't see it in the mirror. It's just weird.
At times I feel all used up...like I should just forget trying to become anything more.
oh! so now I should pitty you?
OH NO pity! Just explaining my slowness. I haven't felt as spunky as I once was.
so I didn't know that already? it is obvious
Well, it probably has much to do with the Deaths in the family and being the main female in control of things now. There are older females, but they are not the matriarchs. There has been a whole lot of stress with that.
And I don't really like to be the leader..that has been known since I was a little girl. I like to do things my way, but I don't care about leading people around. I have always followed kids and people who intrigued me.
what can I do for you?
Sharing your knowledge and friendship is really what I need. It can be criticisms too. I know I need that:~/ But if you can't do that, I will still be ok.
I should really try to go and sleep
I'm just not much into cheap psychology :/
Ok sleep. I must sleep too. I have a day off but a bunch of to-do's in the morning. Rest well and thank you for talking to me.
Ok I don't get the cheap psychology bit, but I will think on that;~)
that way you can end up being a pest :) take care with that ;)
Here's a song...
Gary Wright - Dreamweaver (1976): http://youtu.be/8nn0L6055gs via @youtube
go masturbate your brain .... good night-day
You know, truthfully, I don't masturbate hardly ever, there are so many other things I enjoy so much more. Like a good conversation:-)
Ey, you can do with yourself what you wish, not judging really :/ but I wouldn't recommend it, it is amazing the lost of energy any kind of masturbation is ..... but if you really need it ... Osho, the mystic, says babies, specially boys, they like touching and playing with his little thing because is a very sensitive zone lol we shouldn't tell them that is bad, we girls, like everything is inside we just leave it, for boys is really handy ..... don't fell guilty about it, you are two both alone ..... and all that
I really love these two http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_1nbLtKS62vk/SsSQtvjvBQI/AAAAAAAAABI/CXzlfJJUodQ/s320/labios+oscuros.jpg don't you? :)
AND like I put my energy over the ones I wish, these two are my very favourites
you are not :)
I suppose you don't need it anyway
.. secondary ;) http://stevesmithorg.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/309659_269860523044696_127603680603715_902256_273275357_n1.jpg?w=320
They are interesting. I think he's more atractive.. she does nothing for me, but it doesn't matter. If they are good together, that is all that matters. But in this picture to me it doesn't look like they have any kind of bond. Something doesn't look unified with them.
because they are kind evil in the photo
I like her because she inspires me that if I had had a baby girl with the miau miau it will look very much like her ^.^ and will like to sing
she has this natural beauty, she is skinny but roundy and healthy and has that small nose, I love it :D and I like the boy too, I just like it
they really have essence, but .... what do you know about that?? ¿?
But I don't like the part she has on that tv series, it's bitchy way too much, but it's just acting .... I like more the boy, but out of there I like them both. And that is all ;)
it's like there is a loser draw and you got all the tickets XD hahaha
My comment didn't post:-/
I was saying that I don't know either of them. I don't watch tv. And if you have natural beauty, you don't need make-up... Probably why I like his looks better. But if I met her I might see that she has a very beautiful personality.
I was having this conversation about coca-cola with Robert, my imaginary friend, and .... he stopped the conversation :/ what does that mean?? maybe he doesn't like coca-cola??
To me it would mean you offended him.. Or maybe he was hit by a bus viewing his phone???
she doesn't need much make up really, but we girls like it, after all, make up is made mainly with minerals, isn't diamonds minerals? .... she doesn't need much make up, but I suppose is part of the bussiness
no, because he unlocked the account ..... I think is alive :/
ohhhh :( don't be like that with Robert, he is rebel so the world made him that waaayyyy ♪ ♫ cause no one treated him with looove
She has a very high forehead, plucks her eyebrows too much, and I don't know... Where'd you say those roundy boobs are?
so, what is it? you know? not everyone has a huge dick or huge breast as I or you do .... it is much worse not to love yourself as you are and put some silicone. She has a very pretty body.
He has very nice features, but I can't see if his backside is rounded or not.
I know it's just the badness in me.. But I really hate a high forhead and skinny eyebrows.. Like every time I see Reese Witherspoon it's all that pops out at me... Its such a bad thing for me to think about. The personality is more important, but when will I ever get to socialize with them? They are put out there as icons for beauty and that is why it most bugs me about the forehead and eyebrows.
I could never be put out there as an icon for beauty. It would pisss a lot of people off. So much about me is not beautiful. But I have friends I admire for their beauty:-)
But as I say that.. I am only saying it for what other women would think. I wouldn't trade my body for anybody else's. I'm perfectly content with what I have to work with.. Just that my back always hurts:-( I used to hate being big breasted and I did diet so I would lose much of that booby weight.. But now I don't care as much. I'm not trying to be a ballerina anymore.
I'm going now to the gym to excercize my back. I have to keep it strong. Enjoy your day! Maybe today Robert will talk more to you, since he's still alive:-)
kitty people has big foreheads, I like kitty people .... it is not my fault you hate yourself.
I do like her, most times she wears very nice things ..... http://photos-2.posh24.com/p/1060961/l/celebrity_rumors/leighton_meester_and_costar_garrett_hedlund_is_it_love.jpg but that is my opinion
I find it is much important the form of the breast than the size, but I am not a man :/
Osho says (lol) that in occident we milk our babies too little time so they can be years and years milking and that is why occidental men are so obsessed with breast, on the tribes they see breasts so long that men are not really interested about it, he may be right after all.
also says that the habit of having to have something in your mouth like a cigarete has to do with it, didn't your mother milk you enough? :/ confess ...
woohhoo, look who I found between the girl photos on google http://cdn04.cdn.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/headlines/2012/05/leonardo-dicaprio-chiropractor.jpg who is that? :/
he looks faty, might be for that film with Tarantino he is working in? that looks like a cool movie ... but Tarantino likes blood too much, I can't it, I remember that film where the girl had to eat her own hand I think? O-M-G O.O what's a chiropractor anyway .....
ok, he does the same you do :D
She looks very pretty there and her eyebrows are more natural, not plucked to a skinny line. Her forhead looks less big there, maybe the hairstyle?
Leonardo di Caprio.. He's a cutie, but I don't know his personality. A chiropractor keeps the spine from cementing in a crooked way. Keeps you flexible:-)
see that face? I used to read those magazines for years and years, I ignored him, always found him wishy-washy but ..... what did I know? probably someone like that will think I was uncivilized anyway ...... :/ I mean, I never understood people who likes famous people, I mean like in a romantic way? when I was like 22 or so I like that Orlando Bloom, who actually I can't digest now :/ really, I went the whole process and .... because I remember I was in love with someone else, in my dreams, as usual and I felt brokenhearted you say? and I saw the cover of this film "Troya" and remembered me a little bit to this guy I was in love with. I suppose it was like jumping from some hopes to another even harder hopes, I was sad :( ..... why did I do that fooooor?? ♪ ♫ lol
addiction to hopes is a sickness itself you know that, at least I always accepted my faults and try to work on them .... and try to live as a "normal" person.
I love Marilyn Monroe too, she was a very kitty person -.- and DON'T say nothing about her, I love her, she was much talented than most girls on the industry now AND yes, she ate many ..... lol :/ On the gym, this trainer was talking about popular girls he knew, he had it all clear "They must sleep with people .... see? Marilyn Monroe after the film [..] said "And after this job I can choose who I sleep with ...."" I wonder if she said that, probably .....
I love Marilyn Monroe! She's a classy lady and very intelligent actually. She lived at a hard time for women to be taken seriously, but she "Wowed" them all! I love the way she thought as seen in her quotes.
^_^ yeah, they celebrated Cannes this year in her honour
My mother did not breast feed me not even one day. She took the pill to dry herself up and it happens so fast that her stretched skin never went back to her 17 year old shape. I on the other hand breast fed all three of my babies for as long as they were interested, but all finished very naturally around a year old. They began to like the ease of sippy cups. Two of them sucked their fingers for comfort and the other repetitively pinched the skin under my chin for comfort. But anyway, it was all very gradual breast growth and reduction so I had no problem with my skin stretching. I took very good care of them and they retained a nice shape without sagging. I believe this helps my self esteem because when my mom ran around the house naked as she often did, I thought that sagging was pretty horrible and didn't want it to happen to me.
The only famous people I ever romanticized about was Sting, who I spent some time saving myself for, but I knew it would never happen. Then there was Mel Gibson, again never gonna happen and I thought it was nice he was married and had such s big family:-).. He really blew it looking at that younger woman... I could have told him not to do it:-/. Then Anthony Kiedis, just a little heart throbby there but like I said, I knew it would never happen. I never even fantasized for them romantically just in a awesome friendly kinda way:-))
maybe you need a breast :/ hihihihihi
I can't escape from magic, follows me around .... -.-
I might be very resistent of a person actually, don't you think?? :)
"Ohh a world like this it will spoil a mind like that ..." then I think "Tu puta madre -.-"
the phrase of Robert was ... attention .... "I know them, they will hide you for six months and ...."
that was much original :/
lol
and then I think and "what what what if I just move my magic finger and spoil your fucking career you asshoooooole! just like this, without moving, magic magic"
that one is original :D
there are wonderful men in this world why this ones to me? why God whyyyyyyyyy ♪ ♫ ??
after all they are just simple men ...
I never wanted to be famous, nor to be in that zone. Only as a behind the scenes person like a theatrical make-up artist. But not to meet famous people as much as to try and treat them as any other normal person. I feel very sorry for famous people...?even if they have all the money and can do so many wonderful things, there is definitely a trade-off. It would drive a lot of people mad.
Very stressful duty I have, I need a cocktail right now!!! ^_^ hihiihihi
move!!
I need a holiday ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ :D
do you think that Robert is now inspired to make one of those sad songs he makes to try make the rest of us feel ..... as emo-sad as he is?? XD hahahahahhaha
I am running all over town taking care of a bunch of things and reading your words, so I may have to go back and look again at them to fully understand:-/
Anyway, if it drains you and you don't feel it is for any good, then don't do it. Sometimes I just enjoy doing things that have no reward at all. It's rewarding to just do something instead of nothing.
Yeah, I don't want to do it, but before that I already fixed some things :D
It's all in the past anyway
I am much into very done eyebrowns, I have been having them much natural for years I liked it like that!! but now that going natural is fashion I feel like having them much done and longer in the center ¿? I do all of this without intention, I just feel it. I find myself prettier :) never was one to be told what to wear or how to look
my power must be untouched, just like a precious jewel ;)
Power is something that I channel, works through me, like art ... very femenine, and I must take care to take care of it, can't allow even you to spoilt it or unrespect it so you could considere it God like :/
This world of control is in need of the Divine you get more balanced. And I wouldn't be one to get in the middle of it.
You respect the God and honour the Goddess, what is the difference? aren't they the same?
you know what is it I did first when I was born?
I don't care if it's the fashion or not the fashion. I just do what I like. You can do what you like too:-) I don't change things much. My daughters are becoming opposite of me because that is what daughters do. You should be careful about the eyebrows because they will suddenly without warning, not grow back. It happened to my mother and she had to draw them on since her mid twenties. It really is a blah look without eyebrows. Any shape is fine, whatever look that you like. I have never decided to shape mine.
yeah I heart that, but I am not one of little hair, I have a loooot of hair and grows back just very quickly, and I don't know what I would like in 2 years time ¿? maybe I change again :) for now they are staying like this
What was it you did? Was it cry? Or was it poo? Or was it suckle?
you don't want to honour the godess in me and I won't respect the god in you, the god you even think you have, starting there .... that is a personal experience. You could put me under a bridge I repeat, I will feel as a godess the same :)
I peed over my mother -.- she deserved it!!! lol
aren't I annoying?? lol
Maria didn't need to sex no one to have Jesus, why she did? :/ I can't understand ....
little whore >.>
No, the Holy Spirit came and took advantage of his power over her. She had no choice did she?
My son peed all over me when he was just born. It was the best feeling ever, because it was my first child and I knew he was alive and healthy:-)
I was very alive that is for sure :D hihihi
besides at the end my father is God the same :/
can you be original without being annoying?
So you want me to honor your Godessness but if I attempt to honor my Godliness then I am a self absorbed son of a...?
What if from the very first time we communicated I continuously spoke highly of myself and behaved as if nothing I ever did was a mistake or a blunder? What would you think of me then?
you honor your ego, that is other thing
No, I don't want you to honor my godessness so that should come naturally from you maybe? but you even know what Divinity means .... let me think if I know a God like man .... how do they feel? it is hard so men need to have something to feel like something, real women don't need many things to feel they have some value .... but if you have it, ey!! much better :D
I am not sure I get a human kind god like man ..... an example ?
I know you always thought you were very prepared and right :/
Men need to use energies and get things that is for sure
you don't need to be a poor to be god like man, it is more, I would dare to say if you are like that you should have goods for sure and plenty
Really, I don't know, I can't get it right now :/
To me it is only good to know that we are not perfect or above anybody else. I try to treat people with respect that we have the same feelings and fears. Maybe I am not good at it? We are only sons and daughters of God. We are not Gods and Godesses. Even though I love the Greek Mythology I will never be an Aphrodite.
if anything you did was right all should have work out, don't you think? it's ignorance, pure ignorance. You learn the good way or the bad way, you did the bad way so what I say is no sense ¿?
What needed to work out? Life is never easy, and it ain't over yet.
I think those greek gods, not Gods, I mean gods, they had much knowdledge than us, much power BUT they were very imperfect, I really think they existed but they were coming from another universe like through a dark hole or whatever is the way because see the stories? they had total control over physicality, they were born, suddenly they will grow up or become any form they wish, also they will sex up their parents or family like .... other kind of genetics, we couldn't do that so we will spoil genetics .... so our souls come from different parts of the universe and we are all relatives.
I had to tell ya ^.^
It is said they came from Lira constelation, which is the place where life began in our galaxy ¿? many stories. But I am sure those weren't from this universe.
They are myths, I love Poseidon, he represents the sea :) but I don't think we necessarily become like them ever .....
Talking about this stories now I am reading a book is called vril the power of the coming race. I didn't like it much the beginning, I find it fantastic really, I am starting now with some interesting information so it was written like 1871? and it looks talks about actual science ¿?
you said it yourself you did all you can to run away from me, so is that what you say to someone you love?
I was looking that Vril up, it looks intereesting. I have never heard of it.
I find the writer gives 0 importance to the begining of the book ... and then comes the Vril .... and he goes all into details :/
http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/sociopolitica/vril/index.htm
this is in english, I have it in spanish
I am into a part where they explain that they had 2 groups on a global war and both had same knowdledge and power so they found this Vril power and they decided to stop fighting so the only thing they could get was both to disappear..... ¿?
You say I said I run from you?
and yeah ... there are gigantic mushrooms in there ;)
take this mushroom, eat -.- it is magic
hahhaaha I am reading about this Hitlers Vril society so they believed this story to be truth and the girls in that society will wear their hair very long so the Vril force to lead better http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6HGy_5nmUNg/Tc2pe_kUu2I/AAAAAAAAAn4/OR0x58-Y_0Y/s1600/AD-ASTRA--Schwingungen--Vrillinen--e0908a02--q8.jpg
:/ that is way tooooooo long
the writer has a huge forehead, we like him? :/ lol
we need some contour powders over there -.- "puf puf puf"
Ah shrooomies! I love them on pizza too!
I have heard that the Native American Indians believe their hair holds power, like the power of their sixth sense.
It's connected to their intuitive power. So when it was cut off as in war.. They lost their power.
Men can have bigger foreheads, it's the women that look weird to me.. But that is just me. Probably why I always prefer bangs but my friend who does my hair won't let me have bangs anymore. I trust her opinion now, I used to just insist on it and then I would style them myself.
yeah, they talked about it recently, maybe that is why I love long hair unconsciously :) if you notice Merlin, indians, all are represented with long hairs, if you are a mystic, you better leave your hair longer.
think about it as a bussinnes man and his phone, the phone is the hair, you better have a phone ;) lol
you can't stand the reflection of you in girls hahahaha
also if I go deeper, the cut you have has to do with the way you receive the energy, also the yogis? say the best way is like a spiral over your head ¿? so if you feel like cutting your hair like this or like that, I mean, out of fashion .... maybe it has something to do. Right now I love braids, I love them :D I always did actually, the first time I went to high school I made myself 2 as Pocahontas? lol
maybe I get energy that way it is better for me ^.^ who knows ....
hihiihihi http://www.riverisland.com/Online/pages/closerlook.aspx?productId=261284&img=261284_rollover
That's cute... Like the master of disguise.
no one can recognize you with that
And you know I'm a girl right? I wear my hair very long. I like it layered so the curl will stand out and I do like French Braids. But mostly I do nothing to it but wash and shake it out.
When I am hot I comb it into a high ponytail:-)
I like it layered too, but for the braids is better more like plane :)
when I do that I get much pain afterwards on the base of my hair, really, it hurts, I have much hair ^.^ not like you du du du
I must go make dinner now. You want some? I'm making veggie frittata. And strawberries n ice cream
Have you ever seen my hair?
I am not good at styling my hair really so I try to focus into being healthy and shinny really :) but I am gonna learn some looks,
I PROMISE I WILL ...... it's because my hair is very heavy weighted and it is harder to put it up I think ... ^.^
mmnnnhhh I don't know, did I?
even if I need 100 pins !!! :D
it's 3am I am not feeling like eating :)
I don't think you have. Remember, you don't go looking for me. I am invisible to you. And it's a good thing I'm not your type because then you'd be like a lesbian. Unless you've always wanted to try that;-)
thank you
I think you are looking way too big like for being invisible ^_^ hahhahahaha and now who is jelly?? XD
I'm just playing with you, but the dinner invitation is always for real:-)
yeah, would you imagine to eat a girl's flower? >.< no no
I'm still working with the probiotics, didn't finish at all, when I end up then I will taste much much better :D
but like you are a girl you will never taste me :/ because you don't go around eating flowers, do you?
I am taking lactobaciluss-vanillus and they will make me taste like vanilla yogurt ....
No, that would be disgusting. I rather stick with eating pansies or Johnny Jump ups:-D
yeaahhhhh >.< ughh!!
and you will taste as mushrooms :D
magic mushrooms!!!
I'm taking the probiotics still too, the one with 14 varieties. But also a more vegetarian diet
maybe you smell better now :D even if you don't take a shower!!
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